L.E.N.S. Photo Challenge

The blog Home is Where You Start From does photo challenges, and since there's a photographer inside of me trying to get out, I want to play along! I had a hard time picking a picture to use, but knew I wanted to use a vacation picture from this year.  I have some great shots, like these...

But ultimately, I think I want this one of the girls to be my entry for the "Your best shot" theme!

Mother Dearest

It's that time of year again, turkey, dressing, pie, and all the goodness that makes way for Christmas. But I'm going to talk about something else that I celebrate this time of year... my Mommy! I love that her b-day falls right around Thanksgiving, and sometimes even the day of. Pondering the meaning of Thanksgiving and giving thanks to her just seems more special with her b-day tied in. Sometimes I'm able to get a gift, most times she gets something hand-made from the kids, but always she gets my respect! She is a gem of a woman! Her life as a whole has been far from easy and she's had to fight hard for her happiness, but she's done it! I hope one day my kids will see even a glimpse of her strength in me.

One of my favorite memories of her when I was little (because it reassures me that I'm not the only mom who sometimes hates her name) is when she'd get tired of hearing "Mom, mom, mom, mommy, momma, mom, mommy!" She would then inform my sister and me that she had changed her name, and when we would ask what her new name was she would sometimes say "I'm not telling!" and other times she'd ask us to call her "Mother Dearest". I don't think we ever fell for it, and so far my kids haven't either!

I love you, mother dearest! Happy Birthday to you!



Sometime in 1980



Home's Cool!

The decision to home school our villains came long before the villains themselves. Intelligent Man was homeschooled from 6th - 9th grade, where he then moved to a tiny little town, went back to public school, and most importantly, met me! What a lucky dog! I was also homeschooled for a very brief time during high school when I was trying to figure out which parent I wanted to live with after their separation. But these home school experiences we had were only a small fraction of what made up our decision, there are so many elements involved.

Perhaps one of the most convincing reasons for me was how awful my public school experience was, not just a year here or a year there, but pretty much from beginning to end! Thirteen years of agony (if you count Kindergarten), that's what I'd call it.

Well, that may not be entirely true since I don't really remember much of anything before 3rd grade, I could have enjoyed K-2nd, but I don't remember it, so it doesn't count.

We moved around a lot when I was little and I believe I missed some very basic skills that would have made learning much more of a breeze. I always thought " I must be dumb, everyone gets it but me" but looking back - I wasn't stupid... I wasn't taught! So, I struggled through each and every grade, passing by the skin of my teeth and never really understanding or retaining anything I learned.

Then there's the whole good teacher vs. bad teacher thing. Now don't get me wrong, teachers are very important and I respect their jobs, after all, I am one (I've just decided to teach on a personal level, not a public one). I remember only 1 teacher in all my years of school that ever made me feel worth a darn. To most of them I was just another face in the classroom, and to a few of them I was even a nuisance! I was FAR from a trouble maker, but because I needed extra help understanding, because I was shy and reserved and they didn't "get" me, I was a bother, and it was very apparent they felt that way. How devastating as a child, to feel rejected by the adults you're supposed to be able to trust.

There are amazing teachers out there that make a difference in kids lives every day! There are outstanding teachers who deserve much more recognition, not to mention pay, than they will ever get. However, there are "not so great" teachers out there as well. I don't ever want my kids to be in the hands of a "not so great" anyone. Then there are good teachers that have their hands tied, or are limited in some way by the politics of public school and can only reach so far for their kids. There are no guarantees when it comes to my kids teachers.

Will all of my kids get good teachers for every subject, every year of their school careers? No. Will my kids teachers wait for them to master a topic before moving on? No. Will Prissy Pants' teachers recognize when she's trying so hard to please them and encourage her accordingly? Probably not. Will Z Girl's teachers understand that when she gets embarrassed and lashes out all she needs is reassurance and comfort, and will they give it to her? Not likely. When the time comes, will Funny Bones' teachers find new and creative ways of grabbing her attention instead of labeling her as ADHD or a "class clown"? I highly doubt it. Knowing these things, and as a mom who is both willing and able, how can I not take this responsibility into my own hands?

Please understand that I am talking about MY family and OUR situation and why WE have chosen this lifestyle. Homeschooling is not for everyone! There are also those who simply can't home school for various reasons. This is not meant to make anyone feel guilty about decisions they've made for their family, I am merely sharing us with you!

God has blessed us tremendously! Intelligent Man had the opportunity to go back to school while FB was occupying my belly, and now he has an incredible job doing something he loves! He's just been promoted too! Because of this, I can stay home with my kids and raise them and teach them the way God has called me to. This is something He wants from our family and that is the #1 reason we are where we are. Here are a few more...

1. I can monitor outside influences.

2. They can have one on one learning time.

3. They can advance quickly when ready.

4. They can hang back on a topic when necessary.

5. We can pick whatever we want to learn about and run with it.

6. No waiting in drop off/pick up lines for countless hours each year.

7. No spending 99% of the school year preparing for a standardized test.

8. No taking standardized tests.

9. No stinky boys to distract my girls from learning.

10. No parent/teacher conferences about Z's attitude or FB's cutting up.

11. No seeing PP's nervous face when she has to walk into a big, scary class room full of strangers.

12. No worrying about my babies being bullied.

13. No worrying about a bullied kid taking revenge and shooting my babies.

14. No getting up before the sun to catch the bus.

15. We can sleep late and watch cartoons every single day.

16. We can start and stop school whenever we feel like it.

17. We can go on field trips whenever we want with no crowds - all the kids are in school!

18. I get to watch the expressions on their faces when they finally "get" a concept!

19. I get to teach them to read and write.

20. I get to see all of their "firsts".

21. I get to spend more quality time with them.

22. I really get to know and understand each of them individually.

23. I get to learn right along with them.

24. I get to hear them say they love homeschooling and love me being their teacher!

25. And one of my favorites: my younger ones learn without much instruction because they listen and pay attention to what PP is doing! They surprise me all the time by what they've picked up.

There are still plenty more reasons to add to this list, I pretty much find a new reason to love it and be thankful for it every day! But no matter how long my list gets, it's still a tough job. It's not a decision to be made lightly. It takes immeasurable patience and die-hard dedication. There are plenty of days I question my ability to do this with 4 kids for the next 18 years. Just saying that sends a chill up my spine. But I know what God has called me to do, and with Him, I will get it done. I mess up, sure, but I pray every day that He helps us to reach our home school potential, and as long as this stays His plan, that's what we'll strive to do!

So, here on our side of the world, home's cool!!

 

Fake Banana

All of our villains have two middle names, and Funny Bones middle names are Faith Amanda. When we told Prissy Pants and Z Girl what FB's name was going to be we got a hilarious reaction. PP said, "Fake Banana?!" with an enormous amount of confusion in her voice and on her face! Needless to say, "Fake Banana" started out as FB's nickname (and I just realized that Fake Banana and Funny Bones share the same initials - awesome)! Although, it has evolved now, and she's most often called "Bake". So in honor of my Fake Banana, aka Bake, aka Funny Bones turning 2, this blog is about her!

FB has had me on my toes since her conception! It was a bit of a surprise since it happened sooner than I expected. Her birth was quick and dramatic, we had to stop at a closer hospital than planned since it was happening so fast and she was out before we could even get to a room! Things were quiet for a while after that, she was a good baby, and a happy one. But little did I know what we were in for as soon as she was mobile! She's always assumed she could keep up with the big girls and is livid if it doesn't work out that way. There is no off button for FB, she's always full-speed. With all the broken, trashed, and destroyed items (by her hand), ER visits, close-calls, and mild heart attacks that she's given us, it's a good thing she's so darn cute and has a natural ability to make people laugh, or else I'm afraid Intelligent Man and I would have given her away to a desperate, childless couple a long time ago!

She's definitely been my most challenging kid, and all I can do is pray that the boy doesn't break that record! But when I think of how she challenges me I see that it's really a blessing. While it may not seem so at the time, she helps me to be a better parent. I have learned to be more aware of what exactly my children are doing, to be more observant! I doubt I'll ever look back and wish I hadn't watched them so intently! I only wish I had learned to pay more attention to the seemingly small things when PP and Z were small. I'm so afraid that I may have missed some precious things while trying so hard to be the "right" parent and doing the "right" thing, instead of just simply watching every little moment. Not in a paranoid, worried way, but a loving, "I don't want to miss this" way. I still have to check myself at times to make sure I'm not missing the good parts! I thank God for making FB who she is, even when I feel overwhelmed by her personality. God doesn't make mistakes, He placed each of these personalities with us and gave us the tools to help each of them reach their potential, both in Him and on this Earth. What a privilege to know that God says I'm the best mother for them! As long as I remember to go to Him for help with these little personalities He created, then I can do this right!

So, to wrap this up...

To my silly, little FB on her 2nd birthday,

I love the creature that you are! I love your curiosity, your determination, your wit, and your sweet spirit. As challenging as some of these may be in a toddler, these traits will make one terrific grown woman! I pray that I help you to become the woman God wants you to be. I pray I never squash something He put in you because I don't understand it. There is no one like you and I am blessed to be your mommy! You are loved, you are amazing, you are Fake Banana!

ARRRG!

We just finished up one of my favorite times of the year, when we indulge in a distant past- the Renaissance!  There are man-powered rides to ride, turkey legs to eat, jousts to cheer on, ye old shoppe's to browse, everyone who works there is in character, and the best part - you get to dress up and play along!  Whether a noble, a fairytale character, or a villain, there's a part for everyone.  This year my little villains went as, well,  villains... of the Pirate variety!  Yo Ho, Yo Ho!  I decided last year at the Ren Fest (dressed as a fairy with my little fairy girls) that we would be pirates this year.  I had every intention of Intelligent Man and me going dressed as pirates too, I just ran out of time to make our get-up.  Still a little bummed.  How awesome would that have been?  A whole pirate family with a little squawking parrot!  

This year the girl pirates and their boy parrot

won 3rd place in the costume contest! 



My Pirates



My Parrot



      

Posing with the contest judges



3rd place medal

So if you want to give 3 cheers at the TX Renaissance Festival, here's how:

Hip, Hip, Huzzah

Hip, Hip, Huzzah

Hip, Hip, Huzzah!! 







This little boy

I brought this little boy home only 3 short months ago tomorrow, but for some reason (that I cannot wrap my mind around) I feel I've known him for years!  It has got to simultaneously be the most spooky and the most wonderful feeling ever.  I can't quite put my finger on why I feel this way, maybe it's because he looks so much like Z Girl did as a baby, maybe it's because I started having dreams over 7 years ago about holding my son, or maybe it's because God knew I needed this connection with him to help me keep my sanity through the sleepless nights and the bouts of fussiness that encompass the both of us!  My girls were all so easy-going and a breeze to care for.  I miss each of those baby girls like crazy!  I would give just about anything to cuddle with them again!  I can't stand that babies are gone so quickly (if there were a sad, pity-party font this sentence would be using it).  BUT, despite the fact that the boy is more fussy, has reflux, and a misshapen head, I could not be more happy with him!  I have a unique relationship with each of my kids and love each of them uniquely.  I can tell you exactly what I love about each of the girls and what makes each of them tick.  I just can't put my finger on what I feel for this little boy.  Love, of course, but something else is going on.  Who is he?  Why do I know him like I do?  Why do I look at his brand new face and feel I've been looking at it for a lifetime?  I don't understand what I'm feeling, but I'm enjoying it.  Thank God for this connection with him or I may burst from the intensity of our new situation!  Thank God for this connection to pull me through the exhausting nights.  Thank God for this connection, whatever it is.  Thank God for all four of these amazing people that I get to watch grow up.  Thank God for the love that He has allowed me to feel for them and more importantly, show to them!  Thank God for these little girls and this little boy!

Slightly Crunchy

What makes up a "crunchy mama"?  And on which side of the fence do you play?  Here's the definition I found at naturemoms.com

Crunchy Mama:
Mother who supports homebirth, breastfeeding, baby wearing, co-sleeping, cloth diapering, gentle discipline, etc. One who questions established medical authority; tends to be vegetarian and/or prepare all-organic foods.

So let's see (with some explanation) where I fall in this category:

Supports Homebirth - Check. Prissy Pants was born to an incredibly ignorant mom who did everything her "been there, done that" friends and Dr.'s told her to do without questioning what was best for her and baby (ugh, she makes me mad - so glad I'm not her anymore).  PP was born with the whole medical hoopla, the hospital, the OB, the monitors, the drugs, the invasion, etc.  But Praise The Lord she was born healthy and absolutely beautiful!  I was slightly more educated with Z Girl and tried to go without the meds with no success.  One of the nurses pestered me about getting them and I caved in my fragile state.  Grr.  Z showed signs of distress and had a little more trouble coming out but in the end was born healthy and beautiful!  Praise the Lord!  So by this time I was convinced that birth shouldn't be so medical (when mom and baby are both healthy of course) and tried finding a midwife for my first homebirth - not much went according to plan here but that story is entirely too long for this post.  When all was said and done Funny Bones was born drug-free and the experience, while dramatic and intense, was also pleasant and fulfilling!  I would have preferred to have all 4 villains at home but it just wasn't in the cards each time.  I am, however, still very happy with Gargantuan Boys' birth at the birth center and would definitely use them again if the situation called for it!  The jacuzzi tub helped me get through the toughest part and after much anticipation our 10 1/2 lb boy was here!  It was amazing!

Breastfeeding - Check.  I did the best I could as a new mom with PP but dried up a few weeks after returning to work (it still makes me sad) - we made it 2 1/2 months.  I was determined to make it work the second time around with Z, and did make it a little longer but, sadly, I stopped prematurely because I felt vulnerable and not supported (I'm a firm believer in support for every area of life!) - we made it 4 1/2 months.  Third time's a charm, right?  Right!  I was triply determined with FB and what do you know, success!  However, at about 9 months I developed what I thought was thrush and NOTHING was fixing it, the last 3 months of breastfeeding were physically excruciating but like I said, I was determined - we made it to a few weeks after her 1st birthday!  Now it's the boy's turn and by golly I'm gonna go until he self weans (which I so wanted to do with FB)!  I figured out, all by my big girl self (although too late to have a do-over), that the problem I had with her wasn't thrush at all, but an allergic reaction to Lanolin, easily fixed by, well, NOT using Lanolin!  So with that bit of pain-free knowledge under my belt, as well as the confidence and support one needs to be successful, breastfeeding the fourth time around is going wonderfully!

Babywearing - Check.  I carried PP and Z in one of those carriers you get at Wal-Mart, the Snugli, and while my heart was on the right path I was barely scratching the surface of "babywearing" - I was only "baby-carrying".  While pregnant with FB I found "babywearing" and decided to give the wrap a try.  After her birth I bought a few yards of gauze material, cut it in half lengthwise, sewed a hem around the entire thing, and "wore" my baby!  It was wonderful!  We both loved it and stayed close to each other more often than not.  A few months later I convinced Intelligent Man to let me buy a nice wrap from Germany called the Didymos and to this day I can't live without it!  The support and comfort is incomparable!  It does get pretty toasty wrapped up in it with a sweaty baby in our humid TX climate, but it's still a lifesaver.  I'm finding new adventure in the world of "babywearing" and as I'm typing this, am in the middle of sewing up a new carrier called a Mei Tai.  I'm so excited to get it done and try it out!  I'll let you know how it goes!!

Co-sleeping - Semi Check.  I probably ride the fence on this one.  I keep the kids in the room next to the bed in a bassinet for at least 3 months (FB was in her crib in our room for nearly 9 months because we had a massive bedroom that would allow it).  I keep them close in the beginning but always put them in their own bed...to begin with.  Occasionally I'll be too tired to put up a fight and a baby will end up sleeping with its head in my armpit, curled up next to me.  As a matter of fact, it got cold a few nights ago and I grabbed up the boy and snuggled with him for warmth - and it worked - he's a heater!  There is also a big kid in our bed every so often and I don't usually send them packing until after I've cuddled a little and now they're kicking me or grinding their teeth.  I foresee a toddler taking her turn in the mommy/daddy bed soon as she transitions from the crib to the "big girl" bed.  And that's ok with me... for a while.

Cloth Diapering - Check Minus.  Here's where I start to take a turn for the other side.  With FB I had every intention of cloth diapering and failed - prefolds and covers are not for me!  It's my own fault, I decided to cloth diaper for the wrong reason, I simply wanted to do it because they are so stinking cute!  I care about the landfills but it's not in my thoughts nearly as much as it is other cloth-diapering moms.  I don't even mind the washing as long as baby is breastfed, but the whole dumping and swishing thing is the pits, especially when your toddlers poo is always smushy and not easily dumped.  TMI?  Sorry.  I thought I'd try again with the boy and had a little more success than with FB.  LOVED his pockets when he fit in them, but now he's outgrown them, yet he's not big enough for the bigger pockets I have, so the only option I have right now is, again, prefolds and covers, and as we already established, those are not for me!  He'll grow into the bigger pockets eventually and I haven't really decided whether or not I'll dive back in to cloth, but if I don't, I'm not gonna beat myself up about it.  I can't afford to buy the really cute ones anyway, and if my reason is fashion then I have no more reasons for doing it!  I enjoyed sewing them WAY more than I enjoyed using them, so I'll sell my stash and make a little money off of it! 

Gentle Discipline - Semi Check again.  I don't under any circumstances condone abusing children, physically or otherwise!  Show me a child abuser and I'll show you a mom who wants to rip their arm off and beat them with it!  Then give me that precious little soul to hug and love on!!!!  However, there are times when a swat IS in fact called for.  I'm not talking about a slap in the face or on the head, I'm talking about a "completely in control of your emotions" spanking on that cushy part of your body, you know, the one you sit on.  I believe in redirection, good behavior rewards, positive reinforcement and all that jazz, but it doesn't work for everyone.  Some situations and some individuals call for a good swat to drive the message home.  I try my best to use it as a last resort and to use it without negative emotions.  I love Dr. Kevin Lemans book titled "Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours".   That and "Creative Correction" by Lisa Welchel have helped me tremendously to get through to the kids without losing it.  Though I do fail - I do have those days where I feel I've raised my voice way too much.  It's a work in progress, and frankly, it will remain that way until the last one leaves home!  So anyway, no one ever died from a strictly discipline based swat on the butt, and I know quite a few kids who could benefit from it!

Questions Medical Authority - Check. When appropriate!  I know there are Dr.s out there that have their own selfish agenda and treat patients as numbers, but it's our responsibility to find the ones who don't!  Especially when it comes to the Dr.s who treat our children.  Our kids can't speak for themselves when it comes to health care.  Not every little ailment needs a Dr.  I try not to run to the ER every time one of them does something out of the ordinary health-wise. However, I do trust them to know what's best for me and my kids when there is something serious going on.  If my baby is hurting and the solution is beyond me then I trust our pediatrician to do her best to help.  As far as vaccines, we have decided to get the big ones as scheduled since we believe that those diseases are only controlled because of vaccines - if no one gets a polio (for example) vaccine then we believe it could become an epidemic again.  I'm also very grateful for the rotavirus vaccine, it wasn't out when PP was a baby and when she gets a stomach bug it rips her to pieces.  Z may puke once and she's done, FB has never even had a stomach bug, I believe the rotavirus vaccine has something to do with that.  Now, when it comes to seasonal vaccines we've decided NOT to participate.  Some viruses are beneficial for the immune system and we feel those are it.  If at any point one of my babies ends up in the hospital severely ill because of the flu, I may reevaluate, but for now this is what we're comfortable with.

Vegetarian/Organic Foods - Nope. And "meh".  We are meat-eaters here and I don't see that changing any time soon.  After watching the documentary "Food Inc." I was disgusted about the way our meat is handled and gets to us, and even had the fleeting thought of becoming a vegan, but here I am, still eating animals.  God said I could.  And even though I don't agree with the way my meat is handled I trust God to help me make wise decisions when purchasing and preparing it for my family.  Organic!  I'd so love to buy whole/organic foods!  But buying them for a family of six is financially impossible for us at this time.  I want a garden with succulent fruits and veggies, maybe even some chickens, but that'll all have to wait until we are able to own our own place someday.  Besides, whole/organic foods means more prep work for momma, and I just don't have the time or energy!

Looking at the definition of "crunchy mama" I'd say I fall into the "slightly crunchy" category.  I got a bulls eye on some marks and completely missed others.  I'm comfortable playing on both sides.  So tell me, how crunchy or soggy (lol) are you?  Here's a quiz I found, take it and let me know! http://themoralesfamily.us/granola.htm

None of this was meant to start a debate - so no debating allowed!  As long as you and your family are happy and healthy then wherever you are is just right!