Monday, November 1, 2010

This little boy

I brought this little boy home only 3 short months ago tomorrow, but for some reason (that I cannot wrap my mind around) I feel I've known him for years!  It has got to simultaneously be the most spooky and the most wonderful feeling ever.  I can't quite put my finger on why I feel this way, maybe it's because he looks so much like Z Girl did as a baby, maybe it's because I started having dreams over 7 years ago about holding my son, or maybe it's because God knew I needed this connection with him to help me keep my sanity through the sleepless nights and the bouts of fussiness that encompass the both of us!  My girls were all so easy-going and a breeze to care for.  I miss each of those baby girls like crazy!  I would give just about anything to cuddle with them again!  I can't stand that babies are gone so quickly (if there were a sad, pity-party font this sentence would be using it).  BUT, despite the fact that the boy is more fussy, has reflux, and a misshapen head, I could not be more happy with him!  I have a unique relationship with each of my kids and love each of them uniquely.  I can tell you exactly what I love about each of the girls and what makes each of them tick.  I just can't put my finger on what I feel for this little boy.  Love, of course, but something else is going on.  Who is he?  Why do I know him like I do?  Why do I look at his brand new face and feel I've been looking at it for a lifetime?  I don't understand what I'm feeling, but I'm enjoying it.  Thank God for this connection with him or I may burst from the intensity of our new situation!  Thank God for this connection to pull me through the exhausting nights.  Thank God for this connection, whatever it is.  Thank God for all four of these amazing people that I get to watch grow up.  Thank God for the love that He has allowed me to feel for them and more importantly, show to them!  Thank God for these little girls and this little boy!

1 comment:

  1. Jenn, a very dear friend told me a few years ago that Mommy's have a special, unique connections with their sons because we are training them how a wife should love her husband and how a husband should love a wife. On the other hand a Father connects to his daughters with a fierceness that leaves us in awe, because he is training them how they should be loved by their husbands, and how they should love their husbands. You know that instinctive protection we have for our mate, she believed it came from the connection we feel with our parent of the opposite gender. May be hogwash, but wow, it sure made sense to me. So spoil your little boy and help him be a great husband and expect great things from his wife ;o)